Funny quotes, humor, etc.. - 41

Climbing from the fall: 
As part of  a motivational  program, a well-trained man was giving a pep talk before a small audience. He said, " Life is full of ups and down and it is a seesaw battle. When you go down hill and hit the bottom, people close to you, will  never give you their hand, instead, they will give  you a sturdy shovel to dig a pit, big enough for you. I faced a similar situation in my life and when I hit the bottom of the hill. Using the shovel as a tool,  I climbed  slowly with confidence and stood atop the hill. When I looked down hill, I saw  the  same people who had made fun of me, digging their own pit at the bottom. So, when you are successful in your life, try to help the needy  and refrain from insulting and humiliating them".

Arrogance and stupidity:
"Among many unworthy and unsavory  things I have come across frequently, I am quite patient with  stupidity and arrogance of some people, but definitely,  not with those morons  who are unashamedly proud of them and whose vanity and selfishness march before them".

confidence and uphill skiing!!
Every time  I've been pushed  to the edge of  a rock cliff and the next move is a free fall, my confidence,  patience and fighting spirits  work overtime and give me a lift to stay clear of the cliff". 

Circus buffoon's sermon:
A circus buffoon told the media reporter,  "You people laugh at me because I'm different and do funny things to make you laugh. The irony is I simply mimic you and your antics; seriously speaking,  I can not but help laughing at you folks because  you  are all the same and  fail to see the dirt on your  back".

One depressed woman  was lamenting to her close friend, "Man drives women crazy both in the office and at home. The former is my employer, the latter is my companion. So, I need to balance them both by using their weakness as a 'trump card' I use the broom in the office and bull whip at home to get myself going".