Funny quotes and humor - 54

Biased right and marriage:
 ''In a marriage, you have to be in full agreement  with your better half to keep it going: The word 'Right' is biased and one sided.  What about the word  'Wrong? It never fights and enjoys giving company to husband.''

Pangs of infatuation:
''Infatuation is 'love in a hurry' and there is no trust in it. It is blind like a new born puppy and when it gains sight love disappears like the willow-the-wisp. It has neither soul nor trust, a smoke screen of 'put on love'.''

 Wilting under age:
''Happy is a woman who marries a manof  her age. The advantage she has is when she is ageing like Mahogany furniture and has wrinkled  skin and sagging chin and sunken eyes, most probably by that time,  he will go blind enough not to notice it.'' 

Right time to make confession:
Making confession.  BabaMail
''Making confession to your beloved wife is a great, generous  thing. It is a nice way to get rid of your pent-up feeling / emotion that is bottled up in you for a long time.  Bear in mind, when it comes to your past stupid romantic escapades indulged in a moment of aberration, have a frank chat with your old lady when she develops severe hearing impairment. Your neck is saved and your heavy heart becomes light.''  . 

A drunk and a devotee
Quotes Ideas
A spiritualist was telling a gathering: 

''When a man, who has never been to a temple, goes there and 
prostrates before the God, hoping his worries will be 
solved soon and he will get back his peace of mind ........
Likewise, a drunk does the same - he goes to a Tav or Pub to down his frustrations. When well-drunk, he finally prostrates on the ground with his head  overloaded with alcohol and worries. Somebody has to help him stand up on his feet.  In the former God  gives the needed impetus to the devotee, whereas in the latter the fermented brew' does the trick.''

Telling the truth:
''A man was telling his fiancee, ''I drink very moderately and I avoid over-drinking.''  The woman said, '' That is good for your health as well as for a healthy married life.''  The man replied, ''If I get drunk, the problem is, besides having a bad hang over, I will become  terribly sober and you may look as ugly as a sea Hag with stubs of hair in the chin."
Sea Hag. Enchanted America -