Funny quotes and humor - 56

 A woman' double role:
Wedding Anniversary Wishes
''A woman  plays  a double  role when she gets married.  She is the one who creates the problems for her husband and the outstanding quality about her is  she stands by him  through thick and thin to help him go past the problems.  Is it not a great attitude of a woman worthy of  inspiration to other women?"

 The following tombstone epitaph (imaginative) may be quite interesting: 
Daily Cartoons
 John Moon;   Born 1887 -  Died 1847 

''Here lies  beneath the earth John Moon who was eclipsed on 10 Feb 1947.''

George Riddle:  Born: 1811 -  Died: 12 March 1900

''Here lies George Riddle, the  stud  horse farm owner,
He was on a horse's saddle one day.
How  he died is a riddle.''

Dr. Turn Ball MD :  Born 21 Dec. 1910; kicked to eternity April 1966.
''Here lies Dr. Turn Ball MD, a great diet doctor and connoisseur of  French wine and  through-bred women, 
Died in the stable kicked hard by one of the strongest;  on Dec. 1910 evening around 6.35 pm kicked to the upper world.

Martin Winter: Born: June 22 1900;  Died  Sept.  29 1970

''Under the sod and under the shadow of the tree 
lie the mortal remains of Martin Winter
who breathed his last on a cold winter morning while sleeping!!''

Joe Wily,  the gun slinger and country music singer: Born January 20, 1815  Died:  11 Feb 1877.

''Here below the lump of clay and trash  lies in eternal peace my uncle Joe Wily, who  liked  six-shooter and six-packs,
One slug from his enemy, two slugs from his concubine  did not finish him, 
And  one nice kick from his wife  Donna did it all;  that pushed him into a pit in the grave - the eternal world.''

 Sam  Bone:  Born: 12 Oct 1912; Choked on fish bone: 1 May 1960, 8 pm.
''Under the shadow of the Lord taking eternal rest is  Cousin Sam  Bone, who died while  dinning with his wife. A little fish bone was the culprit that clogged the food pipe.'' 

A smart boy:

A 8th class school boy did a project on the earth and trees:
Secrets of Successful Learning
''Save the earth, so stop littering around,
Save the soil and the ground, stop throwing plastics bags, etc around, 
Save the atmosphere, our land and air, so don't put out  green gases in the atmosphere and warm up the earth,
Save the precious trees and plants  around us and make it greenery . Stop cutting trees and Say No to ''exams.'' 

Compatible couple:
 ''The purpose of marriage is two fold; Both husband and wife make sacrifices and compromises to get the marriage going. Husband  goes to work  and wife shops. After a a few years husband  works like a slave on the farm because wife goes shopping  frequently. Roughly six years later husband now works like a slave  in the ship's galley because wife goes on a shopping  spree  after her 'Ladies' Club' social activities."