Funny quotes and humor - 57

Preacher making a wrong sermon:

Hanslodge Cliparts

Otherwise Thinking
''A preacher at a service in a church said, ''Woman's  mind  is much cleaner than a man's because she  changes it frequently''. Not realizing the preacher said it in a different context, an angry woman got up and said, " I'm going to change it right away''. Then she walked out. That woman happened to be Pastor's wife.''

Words with a punch:

 ''Why some people speak with sarcasm? 
Instead of physically throwing punches at them, you can do the same thing with words having nice punch''

Marriage and box-canyon:
''Marriage is like a box canyon one way to get in  and same way to get out. When you get in, expectation is more, but desperation is less, but when you get out  you will have more desperation accompanied by frustration and disappointment, etc.''  
In the eye of a Wino:
''According to a Wino, he sees wisdom  and wit in wine; freedom and fun in beer , sober and sensitivity in Whisky and boredom and bacteria in water.''

To become a political leader:
''At a political meeting a man was telling  prospective young  politicians  about  how to take care of their enemies.  ''There may be whistle-blowers, traitors, conspirators, double-crosser, et al. If you successfully  manage them  with skill and sit on the  seat of power, hold your breath!,  you may find a bomb underneath ticking away. If you still manege to diffuse it, then your are the emperor, the rest are puppets, including the gullible electorates"

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Menace of transvestite:

''The woman's taunt has arisen out of anger, frustration and indignation. What is the reason? The culprit who stole her garments from top to bottom was her husband. After 30 long years of marriage, he has become a transvestite preparing himself for a beauty contest for the people older than 50 years"