Funny quotes and humor - 30

Bright political carrier in the offing:

"Right from his birth, Charan  has displayed no better qualities than treachery, ingratitude, dishonesty, whistle-blowing, etc. 
 So, I can see his bright growth and good prospects in politics".    .......   An Indian politician was boasting about his only son.
Caring mother's pep talk:
"Don't be a fool. When you are going to stay with your mother-in- law, try to live on a diet of good reading and good food and no gossipping as we've done here;   but be prepared to give your ear to rumors, hearsay and complaints, so that you can use them to your advantage when you are in trouble".  A mother advising her newly married daughter about her mad mother-in-law".

Bright swath:
Why does the court of justice, which otherwise looks drab and dry, look bright and shinning? Came the reply from a coot lawyer: 

"Miss Donna, who became a fashion model came to the court 10 minutes ago today regarding a defamation case she filed against the media. It so happened, she cut a glamorous and glittering swath right  up to the steps to the court room. Delighted  now the justices want to take the path (cut by the fashionable lady) to their car park!!".
Empty sac:

"An empty sack can't stand upright, so is a man or a family without money". This is also true of empty talk that is meaningless and serves no purpose".
empty sac