Funny quotes and humor - 09

Preach and practice:

"When you don't practice what you preach  
regardless of circumstances, it is like  a priest 
practicing celibacy, but advocating adultery  to the  

.secrecyat stake? at stake?

Going to the wrong place:

"In strange town or city  don't ever venture into  
an unknown place or neighborhood and risk your life,
there may be town tramps loaded with claps,  hobos 
or drunks walking tardy or crawling  on the ground."

                                     ....... A warning in a part of the city close to the rundown   neighborhood.

When in the soup:

"When a courageous majestic lion or elephant is  in
the dumps because of sickness and aging, a jackass, 
when time is ripe, will  have a ball, giving nice kicks 
to him."

Wrong approach:

Road roller and elephant

 "Choosing a wrong approach without weighing its 
impact is roughly equal to using the road roller to 
crack open  the peanuts or push the sick fat elephant off the road."
Road roller approach
 Mole hole and mountain:

office gossip.
When you're down on luck and in the dumps, even a 
small mistake or failure will be nitpicked, sliced, 
diced, scrutinized and finally blown up into large 
scale frailty."