Funny quotes and humor - 58

Boredom at work:
Randy Glasbergen
''I can not bear the sight of a man in 3 piece suit coming to our office and giving us a long Sermon on the mount about ''How to avoid boredom at work and energize yourself''. The tedium of listening to such a sleep-inducing  talk has made me more lethargic than ever before.''   ............... Lamented a company management staff
The art of being a politician:
Daily Guide
'' A Politician in public life must develop capacity for criticism and optimism and how to get out of a bad situation. By the same token, he must be patiently receptive to cascades of invective and accusations. Such capabilities help  him a lot when he is caught in various scams in the course of his career. Ultimately he will  know the art of converting a flop into favor.'' 
Political speech and action:

''The leader's fiery political speech has all the inspirations and energy  the Celtic-fire could supply, but when it comes to result-oriented action, it has ended up in smoke.''
Ageing actress:
''The middle aged actress' red-shot eye is brighter than the red-hot iron. What has angered her is some media people have made unsavory on her make-up, sunken eyes and heavily wrinkled skin though she got a good review on her acting.''

Political game:
 "Politics is a mixed bag: it is teeming with the best brains and talented people on one side and on the other  with Bozos and Circus buffoons. The irony is the latter rule the roost and the state's coffers; as for the former, they are voiceless because they have common sense. They know rooster does not lay eggs and and the Sun never sets in the east!!  People, with blighted hope, have to put up with a show of bluff, bluster and sophistry by these political heavy weights

Sleep medication:

feeling sleepy.
A man went to a shrunk and sought his advice regarding his inability to sleep well. The shrunk  said, "A senior leader  from the political party in power is going to stay here for a week and give stump speeches and I  suggest you attend them. The man asked, ''what it has got to do with my sleep problem?  "The shrunk said, ''Yes, there is a link, the tedium of listening to his boring statistical data, political ideology and, most importantly his self adulation will help  you induce sleep to such an extent you  will snore violently.''
Teachers Pay Teachers


Losing ones shirt:
The News Minute

''A tourist who had been to a small city in south India was lamenting: The auto rickshaw drivers are so bad they rip you off from top to bottom.......When you do not have enough fare to pay, bear in mind: you may end up losing your shirt, if you are unlucky, you will bare everything, including your undergarment to pay the heavy fare."